College dropout???

I’ve heard it a number of times in a number of forms: “You don’t have a degree??”  Regrettably, it’s true.  I’m a huge advocate of secondary education and have set the expectation for my children that I expect they should go to (and complete) college with at least a bachelor’s degree.  When I work with Boy Scouts or other youth, I’m similarly talking about it – seeing if they have plans and goals for it.  For some, they’ve already had years of struggling with school and it’s not a likely future for them, or something they’d enjoy or benefit from.  I can understand that – when it fits and isn’t just a lazy answer – and for those, I discuss what their other options are for discipline and career.  For some, the military may be a reasonable next-step for them; others may benefit from a trade school or apprenticeship.  Everyone is different, and a college degree isn’t for everyone.

So, what’s my story?  Why are friends and coworkers surprised to learn that I don’t have one?  I suppose the best that I can say is that I tried.  Perhaps I failed, however, I always have the dream that I’ll find a way to finish it off with something that’s a fit.  I’m reasonably educated, I have a decent vocabulary and excellent grammar and spelling, and I’m very capable of speaking, writing, and articulating my thoughts – seems like I am college educated, right?  Those who know me know that I went to college – I even put in four years there – so what happened?  Math.  Math is what happened, and it’s surprising because I love math, I’m good at math, and people regularly rely on my math skills.  Unfortunately, all the advanced math, statistical math, and especially the theoretical math was very hard for me to learn, retain, and pass.  I used to joke that the number after the course (Calc I/II/III/IV) was the number of times the average person had to take it.

But I’m a computer guy – why was I taking so much math?  There were three contributing factors:

1. At the time (late 80s), I saw the future of computers in the CHIP development, not writing code.  Understand that programming was evolving, and (at least in my mind) the limitations always had their roots in what the processor was able to do.  I’d done machine level programming on a number of different processors, and believed I needed to become an Electrical Engineer to advance “computing” along.  I may not have been completely wrong – if we were still limited to a 486 processor or the first Pentium, this would be an entirely different world.
2. I went to Lawrence Tech – a very prestigious “tech” school that was focused on Math/Engineering/Technology.  When I started, it was an Institute and was very technically focused; shortly after I started they changed to a University, but their degree offering and focus was still very technical.
3. There was no “Computer Programming” degree then (at least at Lawrence Tech).  Most computer classes were mainframe languages such as COBOL and FORTRAN, and if you were going to get a degree in “Computer Science”, the option was a math major with a computer minor.  That route involved even more math than my EE course list!

I struggled through four years of taking courses – many of the math classes I had to withdraw to save my GPA and retake until I could pass.  Certain courses weren’t available to me because I didn’t have the (math) prerequisites and to maintain full-time status I took other electives.  After four years, I looked around and realizing I was failing at college.  My assorted credits didn’t even amount to an Associate Degree, I was already working full-time in the computer industry, and was “wasting” a lot of time and money struggling through courses.  I looked at other schools who were starting to offer computer majors, but I found that my potpourri of tech-based courses, along with the conversion factor from Lawrence Tech’s trimester calendar they had when I started left me in a place where I would virtually…. start over from scratch.  *sigh*  So I stopped.  I dropped out.

Nowadays, 25+ years later, when I encounter a potential employer who is grilling me about not having a degree (or requiring it for eligibility), I have to question what they’re looking for in a degree.  I have more than 20 years of experience as a high performer, along with references from nearly every manager I’ve worked for – so I’m an established veteran and not theoretical potential.  Understanding that going to college and earning a degree shows a commitment – but doesn’t going to college for four years and struggling through day after day show a level of commitment also?  Yes, I failed to achieve earning my degree – the end goal of going to college, but if I didn’t even have an Associate’s worth of success after four years – does stopping and reevaluating show something?  Personally I prefer to work with management that can realize when they need to change course.  I’m still not sure what drives employers to rule me out on this criteria.  I once had an HR person tell me that I needed the degree to learn my skills.  Knowing that I already wasn’t moving forward, I scoffed and asked how much work were they doing with mainframes and using FORTRAN.  Had I earned my degree, it would have been before Windows 95 or smartphones were created, not to mention before the Internet, cell phones, or even laptops were mainstream.

I still regret that I have never finished my degree, and I never mean my story to sound defensive or justifying not earning one.  I have aspirations of earning it someday, though it will likely be alongside/after my children earn theirs.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.